you know you are levi's mom when... (part 1)

...the owner of a local restaurant wants you talk to you about the incident between your son and their mascot.

...wooden snakes appear under your pillow and coming out from under the bed.

...whittled wood turned into crosses appear on your nightstand.

...you call dad to do the underwear check on the soccer field because all of the clothes that were laid out for the day are gone....except the underwear, which are still on the floor.

...you have jars full of i love you rocks because your little boy decided years ago to give a rock rather than utter those 3 words.

...you cringe when someone says, "ohhhhh! so you are levi's mom!"

...frequently you hear, "mrs. jarrett, i need to speak with you for a minute."

...another parent tells you that she remembers her daughters first day of preschool because levi pushed her 4 year old's face into a frosted cookie.

...you find a paper that has instructions copied down on how to make a match rocket and discover this information was in a book in the depths of the school library and no one knew it existed, but your son found it.

...you box your sons room up entirely as a discipline measure and discover he's perfectly content playing with a paperclip.

...you apologize to your neighbor for the pvc caps that litter their backyard because your son is experimenting with pvc pipes, caps, a switch and hose pressure.

...the dentist puts the box of gloves in a hidden cabinet.

...you go to work with hot wheels and army men hidden in the hood of your sweater.

...dinner table rules include wearing a shirt.

...you walk into a dark house with an armfull of grocery bags only to be ambushed by nerf darts.

...you are encouraged to write a book of "levi-isms."

...you save on urgent care co-pays because days later you discover electrical tape "kept that thing shut."

...every night, no matter how big he gets, you still have to "squish him" once he's in bed.

...you sleep with the house alarm on, not so much to keep people out, but to keep levi in.

...your daughter keeps her hamster cage locked because levi once took it for a spin through the house in his rc jeep.

...the school pastor called you to discuss the fact that levi threatened a kid on the playground not to show his twig and berries ever again.

...putting a packed lunch in his backpack scares you half to death when you discover inside the backpack is a live blue belly lizard along with a grasshopper each in zip lock baggies...because dad said it was ok.

...you've left turner's without making a purchase because your son asked a question to the man at the gun counter that brought four more employees out of the back room. all shaking their heads, laughing and saying, "no, son, those are illegal."

...you hear these words at the dinner time prayer, "Lord, thank you for this food, please help us not to get sick. in Jesus name, amen."

...you are reading dr. dobson's book, "bringing up boys" not just because you hear it's a good read.

...you choose battles, love deeper, pray harder.