results are in, now what?

after calling the oncologist's office multiple times, we finally got the answer we had been waiting for. pet scan results were in.

as i waited on the line for the physicians assistant to pick up and read to me the findings, my hands began to shake, my legs went weak, my heart pounded, my eyes pooled with tears. that waiting for the unknown is a crazy feeling. waiting for news that could potentially change our lives. ultimately hearing that the cancer was found elsewhere in the body would force us to decide how much more treatment to endure. it's that whole quality of life vs. quantity of life thing. something you NEVER want to think about. and the thought that we might even be faced with that was more than i could bear. breathing became difficult.

though i only waited about a minute, it was the longest. minute. ever.
she read through the scan in medical terms out loud. i was lost, trying to pick up familiar words. eventually she told us cancer wasn't found anywhere else aside from the right nasal cavity. she saw that the lymph nodes were clear as was the rest of the body. i asked her multiple times if he was clear, she must think i'm nuts but i wanted to be sure i heard her right. the tears came, tears of rejoicing, tears of thanking God, tears of hope, tears knowing we didn't have to go there with quality vs quantity of life.

chemo was also cancelled for this week. matt's immune system was too weak so we put it off for 10 days. he hasn't been feeling well and we weren't sure why. he must have picked up some sort of bug.

meanwhile the oncologist has been gone since 12/13 and doesn't know about matt's pet scan nor the surgeons desire for surgery sooner rather than later. she's in for a surprise isn't she?

so next up:
today or tomorrow the surgeon will call us and schedule surgery. (i believe he wants it to happen before he leaves for vacation on 1/19).
…the surgeon will discuss this with the oncologist and bring her up to speed.
matt has blood work on tuesday, 1/7 to be sure he is up for chemo.
we meet with our oncologist on wednesday, 1/8.
chemo is slated to start up again on 1/8, and continue 1/9 and 1/10.

i supposed if they decide to do surgery, chemo could be cancelled again.
we think that matt will have chemo again after surgery to get rid of any small cancer cells.
remember this cancer is aggressive meaning it multiplies quickly. it is also known to grow feelers. because of its location, being so close to the brain and eye, this type of cancer isn't ideal.
but then is there ever an "ideal" with cancer?

so many things are up in the air.
so much to pray about.

we are quite relieved that the pet scan came back clear aside from the nose.
matt still has cancer.
it is still in his nasal cavity.
he is still extremely tired.
he still gets waves of nausea.

because it's flu season out there and he is super susceptible to everything floating around, we try to limit what he does and where he goes. he sleeps a lot, he lays around a lot. neither thrill him. he's a doer. he likes to be busy.
but that's not the season we are in. he needs to save up his strength and energy to work. he's still working full time - praise God.

we're thankful people have been mowing our lawn, matt gets very tired easily and this would wipe him out. we're thankful for the meals that come in once in a while. not having to think about what to feed the family, not having to be sure we have everything and take the time to prepare it has been a huge blessing. that calendar is here: meal train for the Jarretts.

though we learned and grew so much in 2013, i'm more than ready to put that year behind me. i wouldn't change a minute because we saw firsthand the greatness and faithfulness of God.
but man am i excited for 2014. i'm looking forward to watching Him do great things. we are nowhere close to being done with cancer, and this year we will, no doubt, face more challenges. but it's another year to watch the hand of God at work. it's another year of growing old with my beloved.

thank you for continuing to pray for us and walk with us.
may you be blessed in 2014.