matt is really tired as he recovers from surgery; he is still trying to work as much as possible and fits in his daily naps between job walks, meetings and phone calls. working full time exhausts him but he has a hard time being still for too long. we have yet to find the balance. he says he has slowed down; i asked compared to what? his work ethic is truly one of the things i love about him - i can't complain.
this may be tmi - feel free to skip this part…
yesterday we saw dr. b, he's the surgeon who took point on the surgery. it was the first time we've seen him as he's been out of the country since we were in the hospital. he put a camera up matt's nose and told matt to blink. he was checking where they biopsied the optic nerve wall and said it was strong - i'll admit, that was weird, yet pretty cool. then he took the silicone sheets out of matt's nose. there was one at the base and then one way, (way!) further up, they were holding "things" together and protecting areas while matt healed because apparently the septum and some other bone and/or flap (?) in there had to be removed because the cancer had gotten to them. we didn't know that until yesterday. matt said he felt like the doctor touched his brain…that very well could have happened. are you crunching up your toes too??
anyway, aside from being really sore and having eye/head pain, matt is hanging in there. the surgeon confirmed surgery went well. he said it was longer than he anticipated but it went well - all things considered.
he reminded us yesterday that because this is an aggressive cancer we have to hit it hard and take the maximum amount of chemo they are willing to do. no matter how many time we've heard that, the words "aggressive cancer" still make me feel like i've hit a brick wall. my knees still go weak and it's hard to breathe - you'd think after 5+ months, i'd be used to those two words. but no. it's the reality. so it's back to taking every thought captive, thinking on whatsoever things are true, clinging to my hope pile from the Word of God and listening to worship around the clock. it's a moment by moment by moment surrender.
i know that my God loves my matt far more than anyone else ever could. He allowed this. He walks with us. and He desires to be glorified in it. i really can't complain when i think about it that way. so we press on.
thank you for loving us, thank you for continuing to provide meals - (for those of you who have asked, click here: meal train); and most importantly, thank you for praying.
here's a picture from the waiting room of the surgeon's office. someone should have finished their coffee.
yes he was really sleeping.
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