cancerschmancer - faith

this morning i woke up with a burdened heart. i stand in faith, i walk by faith. but having faith is hard. faith is believing without seeing. faith is trusting without knowing.

i know the Lord is going to heal matt, but will it be here or in heaven? i know He'll take to take care of our needs, but will He do it the way i think they need to be met or will He refine me in this way?

i don't doubt God, but my faith isn't where He wants it. yet.

from my one year Bible devotion:

"Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes, Here I am.” Genesis 22:1

There is a kind of doubt that is never advisable—doubting God and his clear promises. Entertaining such doubts can wreak havoc in our lives, sapping the energy and confidence God wants to give us. Still, most of us go through times when we find it hard to believe. Even Abraham, the father of our faith, had seasons of doubt. Abraham laughs in disbelief. He lies about his wife, placing her in jeopardy to save his skin. He sleeps with his wife’s servant because he wants to father a child at any cost. He gets a lot wrong.

But he gets one thing right: He just keeps going. . . . Even when he doesn’t fully understand, Abraham obeys God.

And that’s the key. Even when we doubt, we need to obey God. That’s the only way to become who God calls us to be. Having courage doesn’t mean we have no fear. It just means we move beyond it. Similarly, having faith doesn’t mean we are free from doubt; it just means we do what God wants us to do in the face of those doubts."

today, like abraham, i'll laugh. i'll keep going. i'll press on. i'll obey. and in doing so, i'll grow in my faith.

but then, isn't that what He desires from us all of the time?